Succubus Shadows Chapter 11

I was in Seattle. Modern-day Seattle, thankfully. I wanted to be nowhere near the fourth century, even though I dreaded what awful vision the Oneroi would show me now. Not only was I in Seattle, I was with Roman. He had just parked on Cherry Street and was striding toward the heart of Pioneer Square, which was buzzing today with tourists and others enjoying the clear autumn night. This time, I wasn't in the dream. I was an observer only, following along with him like a ghost or maybe a documentary camera. I wanted to talk to him, to communicate in some way, but I had no mouth with which to speak. I had no form whatsoever, only my consciousness watching this vision. His pace was brisk, and he pushed through the meandering crowd with no concern for the dirty looks and occasional comment. He was focused on his destination, one I recognized immediately: the Cellar. Our favorite immortal hangout was crowded with mortals tonight. Yet, for whatever reason, no matter how busy the bar was, Jerome always managed to get the same corner table in the back. He sat there now with Carter but didn't wear the usual unconcerned look we often found him with while drinking. The demon's face was filled with agitation, and he and Carter were arguing about something. Roman's signature was masked, so neither angel nor demon noticed his approach. Jerome shot him a glare, no doubt thinking some human was bothering them. Jerome's expression promptly changed when he saw who it was, and he opened his mouth to say something. He didn't get the chance because Roman spoke first. â€Å"Where is she?† demanded Roman. He sat in a chair and jerked it toward Jerome so that father and son could look eye to eye. â€Å"Where the fuck is Georgina?† The music and conversation covered most of his shouting, but a few nearby patrons gave him startled looks. Roman was oblivious. His attention was all on Jerome. Anger crackled around the nephilim like an aura itself. Jerome had been clearly distressed about something when Roman had entered, but now, in the presence of an underling, the demon put on the cold, haughty expression that was so typical for him. â€Å"Funny,† said Jerome. â€Å"I was going to ask you the same thing.† Roman glowered. â€Å"How the hell would I know? She vanished right before my eyes! You're the one that's supposed to have some sort of divine connection to her.† Jerome's face didn't twitch, but his words were like a gut punch to both me and Roman. â€Å"I can't feel her anymore. She's disappeared for me too.† I might have had no physical form, but cold fear ran through me nonetheless. An archdemon was connected to his subordinates. He always knew where they were and could tell if they were in pain. When Jerome had been summoned, that connection had shattered, cutting us off from our hellish â€Å"gifts.† Now, the opposite had happened. I had been summoned, so to speak, and torn from Jerome. The Oneroi's words came back to me: He won't find you. He can't find you. You no longer exist for him. â€Å"That's impossible,† growled Roman. â€Å"Unless†¦Ã¢â‚¬  A troubled look came over him. â€Å"Someone's hiding her signature?† It would be terribly ironic if the scheme he'd once planned came to be through someone else. Jerome shook his head and gestured to a waiter for another round. â€Å"I wouldn't be able to find her if that happened, but the connection would be there. I'd know she still existed.† You no longer exist for him. â€Å"Is she†¦is she dead?† Some of Roman's initial fury had dimmed a little. It wasn't an unreasonable question, really. I kind of felt dead. â€Å"No. Her soul would have shown up in Hell.† Jerome took a sip of his new drink and narrowed his eyes at Roman. â€Å"But it's not your job to ask questions. What do you know? You said she disappeared. Literally?† Roman's face was downright bleak now. He glanced between Jerome and a grim, thus far silent, Carter. â€Å"Yes. Literally. She's been having these†¦I don't know how to explain it. She couldn't even explain it.† â€Å"I was there,† Jerome reminded him. â€Å"She told me. The music. The colors.† The sneer in his voice made it clear that he regarded those types of things as nuisances. â€Å"It was like this weird force pulling her, enchanting her. It wanted her to come to it.† Roman was repeating known info, possibly to make Jerome take it more seriously. â€Å"She called it a siren song and kept sleepwalking, trying to get to it. And then†¦and then tonight, she went to it.† â€Å"Did you see it?† asked Carter. It was odd to see him so serious and†¦well, confused. The former emotion I'd seen only a handful of times. The latter I'd never seen on him. â€Å"I saw her disappear. Like, vanish into thin air. But I didn't see it exactly. I felt it. I could sense whenever it was around.† â€Å"What did it feel like?† asked Jerome. Roman shrugged. â€Å"I don't know. Just†¦a force. A power. Not an entity exactly. And not something I could identify. Not a greater immortal or anything.† â€Å"That,† declared Jerome, â€Å"is absolutely useless information.† Roman's anger returned. â€Å"It's all I've got! If you'd listened to her more, this wouldn't have happened. You let this happen. You didn't take it seriously, and now she's gone!† Yelling at Jerome. Not a good thing. â€Å"Be careful, lest I revoke your invitation,† hissed the demon, eyes boring into his son. â€Å"And I did listen. I set you to protect her. You, apparently, are the one who ‘let' this happen.† Roman flushed. â€Å"I was in the other room when that thing showed up again. I hurried in as fast as I could, but it was too late. Georgina'd already given herself up, and honestly†¦I'm not sure I could have stopped it anyway.† It was a big concession for Roman. Nephilim could inherit anywhere from none to all of their immortal parent's power. Roman was very close to having as much strength as Jerome but still lagged behind just a little. Additionally, the types of power wielded by greater and lesser immortals differed. As a type of hybrid, Roman might not have been able to fight what Jerome could have. Jerome didn't push that point further. â€Å"So, we still know nothing.† â€Å"We know that whatever did this isn't one of ours,† said Carter quietly, speaking at last. â€Å"Yes,† snapped Jerome. â€Å"Which only leaves a billion other things it could be. Unless†¦Ã¢â‚¬  He glanced over at one of the chairs at their table. One moment it was empty. The next, Simone sat there. Carter didn't seem surprised, but Roman and I certainly were. And she was especially surprised, as shown by her squeal of fear and befuddled expression. Being teleported by a greater immortal was not a pleasant experience. She was blond today, dressed in a plain blouse and pair of jeans. It was a sign of her agitation that she didn't widen her neckline when she saw Carter. â€Å"What – what's going on?† she stammered. â€Å"What'd you do to Georgina?† asked Jerome. Her eyes went wide. He might still wear the guise of John Cusack, but as he stared her down, it was easy to see that he truly was a demon of Hell. â€Å"Nothing!† cried Simone. She cowered back into her chair. â€Å"I don't know what you're talking about!† Jerome was up and out of his chair so fast, he might have teleported himself. He jerked Simone up as well and shoved her against a nearby wall, hand on her throat. I'd been in a similar position with him before and felt pity for the other succubus. No one else in the bar noticed, so Jerome was either glamoring them or making him and Simone invisible. â€Å"Do not lie to me!† he exclaimed. â€Å"What have you done? Who did you get to do this?† I could see his line of reasoning now. What Roman had sensed might not be demon or angel, but it wasn't impossible that someone from our side could have worked with an unknown entity. It wouldn't be the first time. Roman had caught on as well and leapt up to stand beside his father. â€Å"I swear, if you've hurt her even a little, I will rip you apart!† Simone's fear was put on pause as she gave Roman a puzzled look. With his signature hidden, he only came across as a human to her. As far as she was probably concerned, he had no involvement in any of this – and no ability to back up his threat. Little did she know. She turned back to Jerome, cringing when she saw his face once more. â€Å"Nothing,† she said, her voice hard to understand with Jerome choking off her air. â€Å"I didn't do anything to her, I swear it!† â€Å"You were trying to get Seth into bed,† said Roman. â€Å"That's all! I didn't do anything to her. Anything.† Simone's face turned pleading as she spoke to Jerome. â€Å"You have to know why I'm here. It's not to harm her.† Jerome's face was still filled with terrible fury, but there was also a flicker of consideration in his eyes. He said nothing, and it was Carter's voice that filled the tense silence. â€Å"She's telling the truth,† he said. Jerome didn't break his hold on Simone, but that calculating look was still in his gaze. â€Å"Do you know anything about her disappearing? Anything at all?† â€Å"No! No!† Jerome glanced back at Carter, who gave a swift nod. With a disappointed sigh, Jerome released her and stepped back. Roman looked doubtful, but he too had to know that if Carter vouched for her, it was gospel, so to speak. Jerome returned to his chair, downing his drink in one gulp. Roman joined him a moment later, but Simone remained standing, watching the whole group uncertainly as she rubbed her bruised throat. â€Å"I don't know what's going on, but if there's anything – â€Å" â€Å"I'm done with you,† said Jerome harshly. He waved his hand in a type of dismissal, and Simone vanished as quickly as she'd arrived. â€Å"That was mean,† noted Carter, idly stirring his bourbon. â€Å"I sent her back to her hotel,† said Jerome. â€Å"Not to a desert island.† Roman's anger had cooled a little, and he wore a calm, considering expression that looked remarkably like his father's. â€Å"What did she mean when she said you knew why she was here? Why was I following her?† â€Å"I can't report this,† said Jerome. He was speaking to Carter, like Roman wasn't even there. â€Å"Not yet†¦not unless I have to. We can't let any higher authorities know.† â€Å"And I can't do anything at all,† mused Carter. â€Å"This is technically your problem.† He took a long drink, as though that would fix everything. â€Å"But you will,† said Roman boldly. â€Å"You'll try to find her?† â€Å"Of course,† said Carter. One of his trademark cynical smiles lit his lips, replacing the grim expression from earlier. I suspected it was a cover-up for how he truly felt. â€Å"This place would be too boring without her.† For a heartbeat, I kind of liked this invisible watcher thing. Carter had no sense that I was there, and for the first time, I was able to truly study him without him looking back. He might have that annoying levity on now, but he'd already shown concern for my well-being. And I really couldn't believe it was simply because he found me entertaining. What was his game? Those gray eyes revealed nothing. â€Å"Yes,† said Jerome dryly. â€Å"Who knows how we'll get by without her maudlin misadventures.† Carter started to protest, but again, Roman came forward with an interruption. â€Å"Oh. That's the other thing, what we talked to Erik about.† He gave them a brief recap of Erik's observations and how I was only visited when I was depressed. Roman also described each of the incidents in as much detail as possible. Jerome and Carter exchanged looks. â€Å"With as down as she usually is, that's not much to go on,† noted the demon. â€Å"But it might be worth a visit to the old man.† â€Å"Jerome,† said Carter in a warning voice. The two locked eyes again and had some sort of silent communication. When Jerome finally looked away, it was to casually pick up his latest drink. â€Å"Don't worry. I won't scare him. Much.† I wondered if he'd go to Erik right then, but I didn't get a chance to find out. The world dissolved once more, and I found myself back in my prison. Aside from being terribly uncomfortable, I also felt exhausted. Studying the smiling, shining Oneroi, I could guess what had happened. In feeding off my dream, they'd taken some of my energy with it. â€Å"Dream†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I murmured, suddenly confused. I'd braced myself for some terrible outcome, but it hadn't happened. â€Å"That wasn't a dream. That was real. You showed me what was really happening. What my friends are doing.† â€Å"Some dreams are true, and some are lies,† said Two. I really wanted to slap him. â€Å"That one was true.† A story came back to me, the faintest memory from my childhood. Christian priests had long had a foothold in Cyprus when I was born, but old stories and rites had lingered. What were considered myths today had been held as fact back then. One such story said that dreams were sent to humans from one of two gates: one of ivory and one of horn. Those from the ivory gate were false; those from the horn gate were true. I didn't know if that was just a metaphor, but the outcome apparently had some validity to it. â€Å"But why?† I asked. â€Å"Why show me true dreams? You'd torture me a lot more with another stupid nightmare.† That nightmare hadn't been stupid. It had been agonizing, but I didn't want them to know that. What was stupid was me suggesting how they should torment me. â€Å"Because you don't know,† said One. â€Å"Soon you won't know truth from lies. You assume everything that causes pain must be a lie. But you won't know. Soon you won't trust anything at all.† â€Å"I'll know,† I said adamantly. â€Å"I can tell the difference.† â€Å"You believe what you just saw was true?† asked Two. â€Å"Yes. Absolutely.† â€Å"Good,† said One. â€Å"Then you've also learned another truth: it's impossible for anyone to find you. You'll stay here forever.†

A Narrative Essay about Education

The history of human beings as put forth by the bible and other informal sources reflects on major aspects of human beings efforts to subdue the earth. In it, the history of knowledge, beliefs, skills and cultures of humanity can be found as some of the earliest aspects of human beings that offer a distinction between man and other creatures.For instance, education has been the mainstay of many communities’ earliest practices this is seen through efforts by such communities’ generations to propagate its cultural, social, traditions, morality, religion, knowledge and skills to the next generation. Such informal efforts are what form the basis of the modern education system (Farrant J.S, 1980). Education can therefore be said to be the process of inculcating worthwhile knowledge, skills and attitudes to individuals with the main aim of permanently and positively changing them.This paper will implore the various dimensions of education, its dynamics, its use its developmen t, the key players, problem it faces, its benefits and lastly an independent position taken in respect to the world’s trends of education.Uses of educationEducation (teaching/ learning) can be grouped into three dimensions i.e. formal non-formal and informal dimensions. The formal dimension encompasses learning that takes place in school classrooms; non-formal encompasses learning that takes place in school clubs, societies, games and sports while the informal takes place in unstructured informal interactions between learners themselves or with other people (Farrant J.S, 1980).However, whether offered in a formal, non-formal or even informal dimension, education (learning) process needs to address the following four main aspects in order to be meaningful and impacting. These aspects include; who will be educated? What institution will control education? Who will offer the financial support? Lastly, why do certain get different quality of education?For instance, many jurisdict ions have struggled formulate education systems that seeks to fully put into consideration the inherent needs of its population. Therefore, they formulate schools and institutions; they offer budgetary allocation and set standards of placing various groups of students into respective educational levels according to their academic abilities (Theodore, 1994).It will be hollow talk and a mere waste of resources if the human kind continues putting much of their ideological and material efforts to a thing that does not offer any substantial value to their lives. Education as seen earlier in the introduction part is as old as the human origin and hence its value to human beings is enormous.According to Susan Bassett’s article, â€Å"what is education for?† (The education revolution, 2007) education is about children growing up into adults who will have a sense of understanding in the world they inhabit. This education will therefore make them internalize the essence behind t he casting of votes in the elections, why things like preventive healthcare are necessary, why history remains important in the modern society and so on.

Christian Worldview Christianity, Islam, Hindu, Jewish,...

Christian Worldview Do you belong to any religion and adhere to the practices of the religion? People need to ask themselves whether they belong to any religion and whether they adhere to the practices of the particular religion in order to establish their spiritual ascription. There exist different religions in the world that follow different religious practices and beliefs. The difference occurs in the sense that what might appear to be correct or right in one religion might actually be wrong in another religion. Some of the major religions in the world include Christianity, Islam, Hindu, Jewish, and Judaism among other religions. Each member of these religions follows what the religion requires and people in each religion have a†¦show more content†¦This verse gives a clear indication of how Christians view Jesus Christ. The New Testament on the other hand, records accounts of Jesus Christ’s life on earth and his deeds. Christians believe that the two testaments have all the teachings that they need to follow. The Ten Commandments Christians do all their things under the guidance of the Ten Commandments that God gave to Moses on Mt. Sinai (Exodus 20:1-17). Here God gave Moses a stone tablet that contained how God wishes his people to live on earth. The following are the Ten Commandments: 1. I am the Lord your God who brought you out of bondage. 2. You shall not have other gods before me. 3. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord. 4. Remember and keep the Sabbath day. 5. Honor your father and mother. 6. You shall not commit murder. 7. You shall not commit adultery. 8. You shall not take what is not rightfully yours. 9. You shall not give wrong information about your neighbor. 10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. Christianity demands that every Christian act in accordance to these laws and acting contrary to these laws grossly violate what Christianity calls for. For instance, a person who steals another person’s property or a person who worships other gods apart from the Almighty God contravenes Christian teachings. Therefore, to be a Christian, a person should try to follow the Ten Commandments. Temptations Christianity agrees that people can fall into

The Do This, Get That Guide On Critical Response Essay Topics

The Do This, Get That Guide On Critical Response Essay Topics The Critical Response Essay Topics Cover Up Some of your point may also be explained in the conclusion part, especially once you learn that you have accomplished the content of your entire body. When you have too little time to compose a strong response essay yourself, you could always get the aid of a professional writing service. Anyway, your reaction may also make an overall address to the whole documentary without picking parts. Your response needs to be critical too, searching for. When picking a topic for a crucial essay make sure you take a topic you may manage. To be critical means that you should reflect upon the subject instead of merely to describe it. So, be certain to read the piece your topic is based on and make certain you understand what it is about. Deciding upon a topic can be challenging. Critical Response Essay Topics Secrets That No One Else Knows About In spite of popular belief by a subs tantial part of students, critical essay writing isn't about criticizing or focusing on the negative facet of analysis. Remember you ought to have some understanding of the topic you're writing about. The above is of fantastic significance, especially to students who think that critical essays should concentrate on the negative facets of a subject. Aside from having the capacity to consider analytically, writing the important response essay demands the student to have a great knowledge of the novel or article they are writing about. The Little-Known Secrets to Critical Response Essay Topics While writing essays can oftentimes be challenging, the key to composing a strong film response is really quite easy. You have to come up with an idea based on the way in which the documentary touched you. The last copy of an important essay needs to be proofread and peer-reviewed. The body of the essay needs to be full of information linked to your thesis. Your introduction is the part where you've got to supply your thesis statement. These guidelines will help you in planning how to compose a reaction paper to a documentary. Make certain your very first paragraph is a summary of the contents of your essay. The essay ends off with a conclusion that brings together all your statements in a fashion that supports the most important argument. A crucial essay conclusion isn't any different to other essay conclusions. The intent of an important essay is to rate information, theories or situations. If this is the case, you've seen an overall illustration of a crucial response essay. If you're allowed to select from several topics for your essay, consider choosing the one which you know. Analyzing a part of poetry in an academic essay can be very challenging. Read the essay and guarantee that it is well written and logical. Don't forget to proofread your critical essay once you are finished with that. Readers should know the writer's focus and thus the significance of a thesis statement. You can't address more than two major ideas in your critical response essay because you will not be able express your thoughts clearly. Critical essays cannot be based on your own personal opinion only. Understanding how to write a vital essay will provide you with an edge throughout your academic and professional career. Identify the problematic of the piece and locate the suitable notes which you have made to structure your upcoming essay. The write-up suggests effective tips for writing a top-grade crucial response paper. When the paper is done, it's critical to revise, proofread, select a captivating title, and make ideal citations. Writing a crucial paper or criticizing might appear easy in the beginning, but it could also be challenging. While reading the text, or watching the movie, it's essential to note the critical concepts and ideas an author or director or painter chose to in corporate inside their work. Because most works have a lot of themes, you should concentrate on the one which stands out to you. Just don't forget that you want to do what works for you! You should not assume that you must criticize the specific work of art in your critical reaction. The aim of a literary important analysis is to supply the audience with a broad and in-depth comprehension of a work of literature. The information will aid your reader understand the essence of the job under analysis. Assume your reader isn't acquainted with the work you're discussing. Do not assume that because he knows what you are writing about, you do not need to mention the work's title. Things You Won't Like About Critical Response Essay Topics and Things You Will If you aren't certain how to compose a vital essay, you might read tips readily available online and waste plenty of time. The absolute most important point to bear in mind is that you're joining thousands of different men and women that are putting their hearts and souls in their pieces and then tossing them in the vast, gaping void that's the web. If you're hoping people will discover your article, the very last thing you desire is to wind up on page 2,824,716 of a Google search. There are hundreds and hund reds of people around who would like to read what you've written.

In the novel Lord of the Flies William Golding uses many...

In the novel Lord of the Flies William Golding uses many forms of symbolism to point out the underlying conflicts in their society. By using these symbols he makes the reader not only think about the problems that arise in the book, but also hints towards problems in our society today. The story uses the conch, fire, and the glasses to reference other meanings in the story. These symbols play a crucial part in the story in which they provide the reader with information that isn’t directly stated but is inferred. The first symbol that appears in the story is the conch which was found by Piggy and Ralph early in the story. The boys believed it to be held by the person with the power to govern and speak for the people. This power was†¦show more content†¦Shortly after a problem arises and they make another rule Weve got to have special people for looking after the fire. Any day there may be a ship out there-he waved his arm at the taut wire of the horizon-and if we have a signal going theyll come and take us off.(Golding, 42). At this point in the novel their society has its first hopes of rescue and success. The fire symbolizes the society wanting saved from the island and the burning hope that it may one day happen. The Beast also appeared throughout the story as the fear of the society not succeeding and the apparent danger they were in. Piggy doesnt believe that the fear is real. He states that I know there isnt no beast—not with claws and all that, I mean—but I know there isnt no fear, either(Golding, 83). The beast represents the evil of the boys and the darkness that surrounds the society. Jack on the other hand believes that the beast is real and says Bollocks to the rules! Were strong-we hunt! If theres a beast, well hunt it down! Well close in and beat and beat and beat-! (Golding, 102). 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A group of schoolboys are abruptly thrown out of their controlled and civil circumstances into an inhabited tropical island in the middle of the Pacific. The novel is Golding’s attempt to trace the defects of society back to the defects of human nature, by using symbolism to delineate this theme. Golding’ s extensive use of symbolism, such as the conch, the signal fire and the painted faces helpsRead MoreFoil Characters In Lord Of The Flies1477 Words   |  6 Pagesrecurring theme centering the characters. William Golding’s Lord of the Flies uses the righteous Simon to highlight Jack and his evil role throughout the novel of savagery and civilization. The foil characters in Lord of the Flies exhibit the contrasting ideals and characteristics, the dissimilar symbolism of both characters, and the circumstances which lead both characters to follow one’s natural tendencies. To emphasize the message of Lord of the Flies, two young innocent boys will gradually begin

Drag Me Down by One Direction free essay sample

Its that time of year again The summer rolls by and that can only mean one thing for Directioners Its time for a new album! We hear whispers and tweets all year of One Direction cooking up their new album Hot off the heels of their North American On The Road Again Tour leg, One Direction dropped their highly anticipated lead single from their upcoming album. They even pulled a Beyonce (well, at least for the western hemisphere) and surprisingly posted the track out of nowhere. As the first single without Zayn Malik, who left the band earlier this year due to personal matters, Id say the boys have smashed the expectations set forth for them. Billboard gave the song a good rating, which boosted the confidence for the bands future. Catchy, infectious, with a daring music video, this song can be a bit repetitive. But the nobody can drag me down hook will leave you secretly humming this song. We will write a custom essay sample on Drag Me Down by One Direction or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page At first, it may seem strange, not hearing Zayns smooth and silky voice belting out a high note. But him leaving is bittersweetone less member means one less person to share in the persona of a boyband. Many fans are delighted to hear more of Niall, Louis, Harry, and Liam. It seems the boy have tried to compensate for Zayns absence by having more fun on stage. Drag Me Down is the answer to 1Ds confirmed hiatus next year The fifth album will give fans something to obsess over during the bands hiatus in 2016. My review? 4/5. Well be waiting for the next album, boys! Drag Me Down by One Direction free essay sample One Direction released their new single, Drag Me Down on July 31st. Drag Me Down topped the charts in the UK, Ireland, France, Austria, Australia, New Zealand and the Philippines right after its release. It was also the first single since Zayns departure. It definetly had all the Directioners talking. I feel the song had a nice, yet newer sound to it. I was suprised all their vocals still blended together after Zayn left. You could tell how much Harry put in to the song. His highnotes left me speechless. He and the other members definetly worked hard. The music video was later released August 20th. It has already gotten over 26 million views. The music video shows the members of One Direction at the NASA Johnson Space Center. I feel like they lost a bit of creativity while filming the music video. The song is about a love that can conquer those who want to destroy it. We will write a custom essay sample on Drag Me Down by One Direction or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page What does playing around in a space station have to do with this topic? I feel like the idea couldve been used for a more fun upbeat song. We all know theyll come up with at least one.

Insider epistemology Essay Example

Insider epistemology Essay The view that you have to be one to know one, that to understand a group you must be a member of that group, is known as insider epistemology (Fay, 1996, p. 9). In my work I will try to explain and define this thesis, making it more tangible through the use of examples both of situations for with insider epistemology seems valid and of instances in which group differences have tried to be overcome. I shall then go on to present problems and questions that arise with it; amongst others whether it is at all possible to place people in categories, to what extent we are able to understand anyone but ourselves and, for that matter, whether we can even understand ourselves. Finally, I shall suggest a reconciliation of the thesis with its counterarguments by introducing a more precise definition of the phrase you have to be one to know one. In our society today we tend to take one of two approaches toward people in some way different to ourselves: we either condemn their actions as wrong and try to impose our own viewpoint on them, or we resist judgement by saying that their frame of mind is so substantially different to ours that we couldnt possibly understand and even less criticize their actions. I would like to focus on this second approach. We will write a custom essay sample on Insider epistemology specifically for you for only $16.38 $13.9/page Order now We will write a custom essay sample on Insider epistemology specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer We will write a custom essay sample on Insider epistemology specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer Whether we are speaking about youths from troubled backgrounds with an early criminal record, or about a far-off tribe with seemingly strange customs, or about the way of life of monks in the 13th century; the belief is that unless we were there to experience what they did, or unless we belong to their group, we have no way of understanding them. In other words, to know them we must be them, the claim of insider epistemology. Insider epistemology maintains that to know other insiders one has to be an insider oneself (Fay, 1996, p. 9). It is saying that you cannot understand a Muslim unless you are a Muslim yourself, a Russian peasant unless you are a Russian peasant yourself. James I. Charlton speaks of the innate inability of able-bodied people, regardless of fancy credentials and awards, to understand the disability experience (Bridges, 2001). The reasoning is simple: how could you possibly understand a group if you have not grown up in their surroundings and with their experiences? Various literary works illustrate this: Jung Changs Wild Swans, for example, only became such a moving and inspiring account because written by a person who experienced Chinese history of the 20th century first hand. She was able to tell the story of her family in a political and historical context without having to resort to research and second hand accounts. She might have even felt quite offended had an outsider written her story claiming to know exactly how she felt and exactly what she went through; she would probably consider her experiences to be unique and not likely to be truly understood by anyone but her family and herself and perhaps not even by her family because they did not have the exact same experiences as she did. This position that each person has privileged access to his or her own mental states and processes (Fay, 1996, p. 10) is called individual methodological solipsism (Merton, 1972, p. 5) and is a more radical form of insider epistemology. It argues that only I can know my own mind, so I can never know whether experiences and sensations are the same for other people: does the colour red look the same to others (Fay, 1996, p. 10)? Does pain feel the same if experienced by another? A train of thoughts which can make us feel truly lonely indeed! Throughout time there have been a number of attempts to transgress the b oundaries separating groups from each other and go native (Smith, n. d. ). John Howard Griffin painted his face black and travelled through the south of the USA during the height of racial segregation to be able to experience the treatment of a black man (Fay, 1996, p. 13). Liza Crihfield Dalby wanted to write her PhD on the life and experiences of a Japanese geisha, and thought the only way to do this was to live as a geisha in Kyoto for a year (Dalby, 1983). It would seem that by doing this they would be able to gain an insider perspective on the culture and group they were living with? Yet herein lies the illusion: no matter how long they played their insider role, it would remain a role. Their upbringing had instilled in them a set of values and beliefs, by themselves perhaps unrecognized or unacknowledged, but nevertheless existing and fundamentally different to that of the group they were studying. Furthermore, if ever they were to find themselves in a precarious situation, they would always be able to resort back to their original identity, and not have to bare the consequences as a black man or a geisha might. They are able to wear the mask of an insider, but under the mask the outsider stays the same. This can be further illustrated: if we say that the social and cultural world shape a person or groups identity, regarding the fact that society and culture differs hugely from place to place, and insist on the fact that to understand an insider you must be an insider yourself, then we must conclude that any understanding between groups is impossible. This, in turn, would mean that social science would become radically unlike hard science (Smith, n. d. ), because no research would be possible on a neutral and objective basis. In fact, every group would have to be in charge of its own social research, be its own social scientist (Fay, 1996, p. 12). Still, if we are not able understand another group, we would consequently also not be able to understand the research done by an insider social scientist of the other group. Each group would be its own isolated unit and incapable of sharing any knowledge. However, there are problems to be found in using the word group. By picturing a group as a homogenous set of individuals, we are categorizing its members as all being equal and being members of only that group. We are forgetting that categories as broad as women, South American, adopted children, etc. are no indication of individual identity and experiences. Indeed, by placing all adopted children in the same group, we are neglecting the fact that adoption can be a completely different experience for one child compared to another. The differences between members of one group may actually outweigh their similarities (Bridges, 2001, p. 3; Fay, 1996, p. 53) and insiders of groups may insist on a distinction being made between each other, therefore Argentineans might find it offensive to be put in the same category as Bolivians or vice versa. But if we carry these divisions within categories further, then we must distinguish between Argentineans from Buenos Aires and those from Patagonia, in Buenos Aires between the poor and the wealthy, within the poor between the homeless and people living in small shacks, within the homeless between men and women, within men between old and young, and so on until there is no more than one person left for each category which takes us back to the theory of solipsism, that only I can know myself, and therefore to the impossibility of mutual understanding. In social research difficulties may arise as many of the political and ethical dilemmas ( ) stem from the researchers simultaneous occupation of a status as insider and outsider in relation to those they are researching (Charles, 1997, p. 394), since boundaries between groups are never clear-cut. But this evokes the idea that ultimately, if I am the only person left in my category and nobody from outside my category can truly understand me, I must know my own self best, and this idea we must question. For many instances come to mind where we dont really understand ourselves. When writing an exam, for example, we are not conscious of all the thought processes going on within our head and we would have a hard time explaining how we wrote it. Fay writes that the mind does not have an unmediated knowledge of itself (1996, p. 19), meaning that we cannot necessarily interpret the experiences and feelings we have. Similarly I have no detailed recollection of the day my dog was put to sleep, it went by in a blur. Not only did I not have full knowledge of myself on that day but with time it has changed further: my personal account of that day would probably be very inaccurate because tinted by my emotions and patchy with suppressed memories (Bridges, 2001, p. 2). Furthermore, it is well known that a stressed person is the last to realize or acknowledge it, what is needed is precisely a person on the outside a doctor, a parent, a wife to diagnose the symptoms and look at our taken-for-granted experience through ( ) the eye of a stranger (Bridges, 2001, p. ), so from an outsider perspective. Our insider perspective does not necessarily work to our advantage because, as Fay puts it, knowledge of what we are experiencing always involves an interpretation of these experiences (1996, p. 19). Likewise, being a member of a group does not always give us the best knowledge of it. For example, a sports player is not automatically the best sports commentator (Fay, 1996, p. 20), and being a native speake r of a language often means that you have more difficulties explaining grammar rules than a non-native speaker. Merton is his studies found that the judgements of insiders are best trusted when they assess groups other than their own (1972, p. 18). Distance can create better knowledge because it gives a wider view of things: Fay gives the example of Hitlers biographers who were able to understand him not in the sense of being sympathetic toward him but of giving an accurate account of his character and motivations precisely because their distance enabled them to make a connection between internal emotions and external situations (Fay, 1996, p. 24). But how can we reconcile this argument with the one made earlier that Jung Chang was only able to write such an extraordinary account because she was an insider? Maybe the answer lies in that knowledge does not rely solely on whether one is a member of a certain group or not. Knowing something implies that we understand its meaning and have made sense of it, not that we have an empathetic understanding of it. Fay compares making sense of something with trying to decipher a difficult poem rather than trying to achieve some sort of inner mental union with its author (1996, p. 25). Sensitivity and criticality are the relevant criteria to understanding rather than being an insider or outsider to a group whether we are speaking about women, Muslims or Russian peasants. An insider may however be more aware of the issues at hand; he may not have the automatic ability to truly understand but his status might facilitate it. If we really had to be one to know one, most of our world today would become pointless: media, research, welfare, etc. Why be informed about the war in Iraq if we can neither understand the Iraqis nor the soldiers nor the politicians? Why make any judgement, any protest? Because our insider status as human beings gives us the sensitivity to reject violence and suffering, even if we are outsiders on all other factors.